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11 July 2012 @ 06:41 pm
This coma kiss is infinite, and I may take your tongue if you stay.  
Epilim (depakote), avanza (remeron), xanax, rivotril (klonopin), stilnox (ambien).

I feel flat. Flat like a pancake, flat like a cartoon character. The med cocktail makes me tired, so tired, all the time, tired to the bone, like having the flu. I can't go out - I'm effectively housebound because I can't do anything but sleep constantly. I feel like I am getting smaller every day which would be quite a feat given the amount of sugar I am putting into my body on a daily basis. I feel so far removed from everything. I'm aware of my emotions - anger, mostly, white hot like a flame in my stomach, and desperate loneliness that makes my heart beat like a drum - but I don't feel attached to them, I feel like they are happening to somebody else. I cry a lot. I drift away. I can't see the horizon from here.

I wonder if it's possible to get so sad you just disappear.
Breathe out: tiredtired
Breathe in: Boys Night Out - Dreaming
jimmy triumphantjimmyjack on July 11th, 2012 12:54 pm (UTC)
Her lips taste like a loaded gun.: Lesbians!tacomonkey on July 11th, 2012 10:54 pm (UTC)
you. are. amazing.
jimmy triumphantjimmyjack on July 12th, 2012 09:40 am (UTC)
hey no look at best i'm kind of pretty okay

i've had that clams casino track bouncing around my head for the last few weeks!

hope it improved your day.
owlcatowlcatowl on July 12th, 2012 11:28 am (UTC)
epilim is the pits. srsly. it makes you feel like you are living in a dull, dull thick cloud of... dull cloud.

phillbertphillbert on September 11th, 2012 02:37 am (UTC)
Long time no... things. Didn't think anyone used livejoural anymore. You're so old school.

I recommend a hearty dose of coffee. It makes the world go. Don't let science tell you otherwise.